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An old woman prospector shuffled into town leading a tired old mule. The old woman headed straight for the only saloon to clear her parched throat. She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitch rail. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, "hey old woman, have you ever danced?" the old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "no, i never did dance... Never really wanted to." a crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "well, you old bag, you"re gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old woman"s feet. The old woman prospector -
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Keep up the laughs deadalist! I love tough old women. Taking one up flying on friday for her 70th b/day.
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Keep up the laughs deadalist! I love tough old women. Taking one up flying on friday for here 70th b/day.Your daughter?
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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire whilewe were in bed.
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he hewhat response you expect you"d get if you said " let"s ask the audience what they think "
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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office
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My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom
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My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcominganniversary.She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 inabout 3 seconds.I bought her a bathroom scale.
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I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!" So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"That"s how the fight started.
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Got this in an email this morning and had to share:
A Blonde goes to Heaven.An Aussie Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. "I"m sorry, "St Peter said; "But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have beenforced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.""That"s cool" said the Blonde, "What does the Entrance Exam consist of?""Just three questions" said St Peter."Which are?" asked the Blonde."The first," said St Peter, "is, which two days of the week start with the letter "T"?The second is "How many seconds are there in a year"?The third is "What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?""Now," said St Peter, "Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect youto have those answers for me."So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do thesame).The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, towhich she replied, "I have.""Well then," said St Peter, "Which two days of the week start with the letter T?"The Blonde said, "Today and Tomorrow."St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question."Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions" St Peter went on, "how many seconds in a year?"The Blonde replied, "Twelve!""Only twelve" exclaimed St Peter, "How did you arrive at that figure?""Easy," said the Blonde, "there"s the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds."St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, "I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision." And he walked away shaking his head.A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. "I"ll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to thename of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?"The blonde replied: "Of the three questions, I find this the easiest to answer.""Really!" exclaimed St Peter, "And what is the answer?""It"s Andy.""Andy?""Yes, Andy," said the Blonde.This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked "How in God"s name did you arrive at THAT answer?""Easy" said the Blonde, "Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled."And the Blonde entered Heaven.
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yeah, thats a good one. and good example too. constaintly amazes me how people can misunderstand what you"ve said to them to them at work. when they give their explaination back to me, i can see it being ike that f*#^!%g blonde. a good example why we need rules too ,to help people NOT misunderstand, just to link up a couple of posts. ;D ;D. struth i may even be smart enough to go to heaven.
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This is for the guys in Kunners.DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA
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Lifes a *****.
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