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A girl came skipping home from school one day."Mommy, Mommy" , she yelled, "we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10".See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"Very good" , said her mother."Is it because I"m blonde, Mommy" ?"Yes, it"s because you"re blonde", her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school.
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A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: Gettheir parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to telltheir stories. Karl said, "My father"s a farmer and we have a lot of egg layingchooks.One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the frontseatof the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs wentflyingand broke and made a mess.""What"s the moral of the story?" asked the teacher."Don"t put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher. Next little Emily raised her hand and said, "Our family arefarmers too, but we raise chooks for the meat market. One day we had adozeneggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moralto this story is, "Don"t count your chickens before they"rehatched"." That was a fine story Emily. Mick, do you have a story to share?" "Yes. My dad told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty SharonwasA flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was 3 bottlesofrum, a machine gun and a machete. She drank all the rum on the waydownso it wouldn"t break and then she landed right in the middle of 100enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out ofbullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until theblade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moraldidYour father tell you from that horrible story?" "Stay the f@*k away from Aunty Sharon when she"s been on thepiss."
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