Multi-tasking

[joew]

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[firefly]

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.The only friction in their marriage was the husband"s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

[joew]

THE VIBRATORAs a woman passed her daughter"s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.Shocked, she asked: "what in the world are you doing?"The daughter replied: "Mum, I"m thirty-five yearsold, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I"ll ever get to a husband. Please, go away andleave me alone."The next day, the girl"s father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: "dad I"m thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I"ll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone." A couple days later, the wife came home from ashopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.The wife asked: "What the f.. are you doing?"The husband replied: "I"m watching football with my son-in-law."