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Here you go whoran.............giving your mate kev 07 a rest............ :-*Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife"s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"And that"s how the fight started...
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If you aim for nothing, you'll hit it every time -
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver"s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt". So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security applicationWhen I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office..She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too."And then the fight started...
If you aim for nothing, you'll hit it every time -
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.I really need you to pay me a compliment."The husband replies, "Your eyesight"s damn near perfect."And then the fight started......
If you aim for nothing, you'll hit it every timeComment
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Old age is golden I"ve heard it said, But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed. With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup, And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up. And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself, Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?
If you aim for nothing, you'll hit it every timeComment
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Dear Son,I am writing this letter slow because I know you can"t read fast.We don"t live where we did when you left home. You Dad readin the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from yourhome, so we moved. I won"t be able to send you the address becausethe last
If you aim for nothing, you'll hit it every timeComment
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Grrrussy,did you start typing that last one on the tenth of august? ;D
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A young lass goes to the doc and asks,How many calories are in sperm?The doc replies, honey if you swallow it dont matter if your fat.sorry sorry
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There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:
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