A Common Islamic Problem................

[GraemeMonro]

Dear Benefits Office ManagerMy name is Mohammed Reza and I live in Sydney , and I would like to present before you the following story.Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an 18-year-old daughter.After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit a number of times, and he fell in love with my step-daughter.My father eventually married her without my authorization.As a result, my step-daughter legally became my step-mother and my father my son-in-law.My father"s wife (also my step-daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step-daughter"s mother.This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father.As you can see, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father"s wife.Therefore, it appears that I am also my wife"s grandchild.A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father"s brother-in-law, the step-son of my father"s wife, and my uncle.My son is also my step-mother"s brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather.In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the followingoes my son, who is also my uncle, my father"s son-in-law, and my step-mother"s brother fulfill the requirements for receiving childcare benefits?Sincerely yours,Mohammed.

[gbw]

"good morning, welcome to "centrelink" the australian social services and benefits

[GraemeMonro]

Most people don"t know that back in 1912, Hellmann"s Mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning.The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5 and is known, of course, as - Sinko De Mayo.

[MadMuz]

Come on Graeme, that is terrible....Almost as bad as saying " The Costa Concordia didnt wreck.... it simply stopped at Giglio for a "Lay over"

[Darrell Jones]

You just can,t leave it alone, can you ?

[GraemeMonro]

You just can,t leave it alone, can you ?What else did my wife tell you at Wondai?Graeme.

[tonydenton]

hello Darrell, how you be ????

[GraemeMonro]

Ain"t that the truth?

[GraemeMonro]

The AMA has weighed in on Joe Hockey’s proposed changes to Australia’s health servicesThe Allergists voted to scratch them, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought he had a lot of nerve.The Obstetricians felt he was labouring under a misconception.Ophthalmologists considered the ideas short-sighted.Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"The Psychiatrists thought the ideas were madness, while the Radiologists could see right through them.The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.The ENT specialists didn"t swallow it, and just wouldn"t hear of it.The Pharmacists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.The Anaesthetists thought the ideas were a gas, but the Cardiologists didn"t have the heart to say no.In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the arseholes in parliament!

[GraemeMonro]

A ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two

[GraemeMonro]

After an alleged visit to the Pleasure Parlour, Federal politician Craig Thomson allegedly notices green lumps on his willy. So, off he goes to the doctor.That"s serious, says the doc. You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears?Yes, says Thomson, nodding seriously.Well, says the doc, you"ve got brothel sprouts.

[MadMuz]

A bloke turns 65 and as a treat to himself, for his years of hard work, takes a to a trip to the local massage parlour,He had always wanted to go, but was always too worried about catching "something" But he goes, and has a wow of a time, very happy until..... he looks at willy and there is a definite red ring and some reddish spots and discolouration

[MadMuz]

**News Flash**Hyde Park no longer safe!Reports have just come in that 2 old ladies were walking thru Hyde Park in Sydney when a streaker ran past