Irish Elevator Experience...

[aussie_paul]

Skinny little white Irishman gets into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him. He looks down at the Irishman and says:"7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown"The little white Irishman faints dead away and falls to the floor.The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him......The big guy says, "What"s wrong with you?"In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you just say to me?"The big dude says, "Well, I saw your curious look and I figured I"d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me............... I"m 7 ft tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each...and my name is Turner Brown"The little white Irishman says:"Turner Brown?!....Sweet Jesus.........I thought you said, "Turn around!"Aussie Paul.

[mad max]

;D Keep em comming Paul, the forum"s getting boring.

[Toejam]

LIFE IN AN AUSSIE MENTAL HOSPITAL !!! A nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he"s driving a Truck, with his hands at 10 to 2. The nurse asks him, "Kenny! What are you doing?" Kenny replies, "Can"t Talk right now I"m driving to Melbourne !" The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room. The next day the nurse enters Kenny"s room just as he stops driving his imaginary truck and she asks, "Well Kenny, how was your trip?"Kenny says, "I"m exhausted, I just got into Melbourne and I need some rest.""That"s great," replied the nurse, "I"m glad you had a safe trip." The nurse leaves Kenny"s room and then goes across the hall into another patients" room and finds Davo sitting on his bed masturbating vigorously. Shocked, she shouts, "Davo what are you doing ??" To which Davo replies, "Shhh, I"m shagging Kenny"s wife while he"s in Melbourne "

[aussie_paul]

Irish Logic at it"s best!

[aussie_paul]

Only Thirty Euro ...An Irishman is walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows."Thirty euros," she whispers.Murphy has never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it"s only thirty euros.So they hid in the bushes.They"re going at it for a minute or two when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It"s the police."What"s going on here, people?" asks the cop."Oi"m making love to me woife," Paddy answers, sounding annoyed."Oh, I"m sorry," says the cop, "I didn"t know.""Well, neidder did I, til ya shined that bloody light in her face!"Aussie Paul.

[MadMuz]

Pretty funny Paul

[aussie_paul]

Husband: My wife Misty went shopping two days ago and still has not returned home.Officer: What is her height?Husband: I never noticed.Officer: Slim or healthy?Husband: Not slim, can be healthy.Officer: Color of eyes?Husband: Never noticed.Officer: Color of hair?Husband: Changes according to the season.Officer: What was she wearing?Husband: Pant suit or dress, I dont remember exactly.Officer: Was she going in a car?Husband: Yes.Officer: Tell me the make, model, color and license number plus any outstanding details of the car.Husband: Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 liter V6 engine generating 333 horse powerteamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode.It has full LED headlights which use light emitting diodes for all light functions.License is HAS-GO! and it has a very thin scratch on the left front door.Then the husband started crying.Officer: Don"t worry sir, we will find your car.Aussie Paul.