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Thou Shall Not...A man loses his hat, so he goes to church to steal one off of the hat rack. When he gets there, the priest is giving his sermon on the Ten Commandments. Something in the sermon gives the man a flash of insight and, after mass, the man goes to confession to tell the priest what he was going to do...Man: Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.Father: Go ahead, son.Man: I lost my hat and I came to church today to steal a hat off of the rack.Father: Is that so?Man: But then I heard you talking about the Ten Commandments and I changed my mind.Father: Really? My son, did you make this decision when I was discussing the commandment: "Thou shalt not steal?"Man: No. It was when you started talking about "Thou shalt not commit adultery" that"s when I remembered where my hat was!
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An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbour"s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" "Roll of chicken wire.""What you gonna do with that?""Gonna catch some chickens.""You damn fool! You can"t catch chickens with chicken wire!" The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy comes walking by, dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.The next morning, the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something in his hand. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?""Roll of duct tape.""What you gonna do with that?""Gonna catch me some ducks.""You damn fool! You can"t catch ducks with duct tape!"The boy just laughs and keeps walking.That night around sunset the boy walks by, trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duct tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.The next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. ""Hey boy, whatcha got there?""It"s a ***** willow.""Wait up..I"ll get my hat."
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