Time again for some jokes!!!

[asra]

Our beloved PetePete walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. Pete says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the orders. "That will be $9.40 please," she says, and Pete reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, Pete and the ostrich come again and Pete says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again Pete reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.This becomes routine until the two enter again later in the week. "The usual?" asks the waitress."No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad," says Pete. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."Once again Pete pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?" "Well," says Pete, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there." "That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right. Whether it's a liter of milk or a Firebird, the exact money is always there," says Pete. The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?" Pete sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

I really think the ostrich was called Birdy!!!!![]Aussie Paul.[]www.firebirdgyros.com

[birdy]

Oh, I thought this was the punch line; "That's right. Whether it's a liter of milk or a Firebird, the exact money is always there," says Pete"You couldn't fit that much money in the deepest pocketIgnorance is bliss............but only till you realise you were.birdy, here.

[asra]

I actually think myself lucky I got a good looking ostrich who can bend right over and put her head in the sand.PeteBairnsdale,Vic.

[NiqueNaque]

A bloke on a sky diving day jumps out of the plane, it is his solo and he's having trouble on the way down with getting the chute to open..He passes a bloke going up at about the same speed as he is going down.. "Hey mate, do you know anything about these parachutes" he yells to the bloke going past..The other bloke responds... "Do you know anything about gas barbeques??"Go Wes!Cheers,Nick.Nicholas TomlinAlarmist - www.alarmist.com.au - we scare for you

[asra]

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.The Italian Immigration agent stops them and tells them: "It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro." "Vot do you mean it'z illegal?" asks the German driver. "Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official. "Qvattro is just ze name of ze automobile", the Germans retortunbelievingly. "Look at ze papers: zis car is signt to kerry 5 persons." "You can'ta pulla thata one on me!", replies the Italian customs agent."Quattro meansa four. You hava fivea people ina your car and you arethereforea breaking the law."The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over, schnell! I vant to speak to somevone viz more intelligence!" "Sorry", responds the Italian official, " He can'ta come. He'sa busywitha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.

[asra]

This lady runs screaming into the clubhouse and say"s to the manager...I"ve been stung by a bee on YOUR golf course!Manager; "Where abouts?"..."between the first and second hole" she say"s.After a moment"s hesitation he say"s,"you may be playing with your legs to far apart!"CheersPete