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Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it.When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming.Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the delight of the gay fathers, she points out the happy child as theirs."Isn"t it wonderful?" one gay says to the other."All these unhappy babies ... and yet our baby is so happy. This just proves the superiority of gay love!"The nurse says, "Oh sure, he"s happy now, but just watch what happens when I pull the thermometer out of his ****!"Joew
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president"s office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?" The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square." The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?" "Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square." "Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don"t mind I would like to come back at 10 o" clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness." "No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. The next morning at exactly 10 o"clock the elderly woman arrived at the president"s office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that t he president"s testicles were square The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure." The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it"s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o"clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada !"
A bloke says to his mate, Im going to file for divorce!His mate says, how come?Bloke says, well, my wife hasnt spoken a word to me for two months!Mate says, dont do it mate, women like that are hard to find ;D
Vodacom : How may we help you? Customer : This is Julius Malema and I haff a big problem with my phone bill.. My wife, she think I haffing an affair! Vodacom : Okay Sir, and how can we help you with this? Julius : My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and my wife think I haffing an affair with this woman, but I never heard of her before. You must please trace these calls for me.Vodacom : Sir, I"m sorry but the bill won"t actually tell you the name of the person you"re calling, just their number. Customer : This one does.
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