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You tell her yourself Birdy !!
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birdy ...if your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen and nagging you, what have you done wrong? ....... made her chain too long!!
Safe Flying ... ding
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Why do women get married in white ??To match the other kitchen appliances.
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Ball tearer Hoges.[][]Brian,mate,I would,but your closer.[}
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Q-What does WIFE stand for?A-Washing, Ironing, F*cking, EctMark
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Leader of the Greens, (let's call her Meg Tutt) she buys the best block of land in Tassie, with the best views. She climbs the tallest tree to get a good look around. Ends up having an altercation with a cantankerous one eyed possum, Meg slides down the tree and gets a 'pouch' full of splinters. Goes to the Dr's Surgery and waits three hours even though the waiting room is empty. She demands to see the Dr and when he presents, she asks why the hell he hasn't attended to her splintered 'pouch'. Dr replys he's still waiting to hear back from the State Government, National Parks and World Heritage representatives. "What the bloody hell for?" Asks Meg. The Dr replies, "One must have a Permit to remove Old Growth Timber from a Recreational Area."www.thebutterfly.info
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There was a blonde walking along the side of a river one day & she spots another blonde walking along the other side. She yells out 'gidday' , & the other yells 'gidday' back . Then she yells out '..how do I get to the other side?' There was a long pause.... & the second blonde replies '....you're already on the other side !"X
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Three Aussie girls go on holidays to London( & you guessed it one of them was a blonde). They decide to do a tour around town in a double decker bus , however the bus was just about full & there were only two seats empty on the bottom deck & one on the top so the girls decided they would take it in turns at sitting up on the top deck . So the blonde goes up top first & after a bit of touring around one of the girls go up to swap with her blonde friend to find her sitting there white knuckled holding on for dear life. " What on earth is the matter? We're having a great time. " " Yeah , its OK for you , at least you have a driver!"X
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Am I still blonde? I will go and change that immediately!!!A very determined husband had just finished reading the book, MAN OF THEHOUSE.He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"His wife replied, "The funeral director?"Llewella
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A chap rings his friend and tells him,"Do you know that lions have sex 6 times a day?".His friend replies "What a pain, I have just joined Rotary!"Llewella
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I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!" The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde (?), gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"Llewella
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Ever wundered wot holds a shealas insides up when she's sit'n on the dunny???The vacuum in her head.
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Girl skipping into the house after school, "mummy, mummy, today we had arithmetic and I learnt to count to ten better than the other kids". "Thats cause I,m blonde isnt it"?"Yes darling"Next day, "mummy, mummy, today we had spelling and I learnt to spell c-a-t faster than everyone else". "thats cause I,m blonde isnt it"? "Yes darling"Next day, "mummy, mummy, today we had P.E. and I am the only girl who had to wear a bra". "thats cause I,m blonde isnt it?" "No darling, thats cause you,re 26.
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Thanx Mark,I just pis### meself again.
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